Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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