I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
