My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
