I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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