just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
