it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Couch. On fire.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
