My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
