So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we're making bets on your personal life
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
