Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
