Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
