I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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