i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
