Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you had me at cake vodka
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
