But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
