that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
