i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
