Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
