I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
