you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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