I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
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i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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