no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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