I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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