Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
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So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
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How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.