Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral