Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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