Whod you bang
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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