man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
