You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
