I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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