We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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