she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
