i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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