While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I wish you could order shots online.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
