Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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