RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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