I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize