I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
