that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
