I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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