You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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