I will die if light touches me.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
