i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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