ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
