You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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