She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
