I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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