Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
