I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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