he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i think my cat just said my name.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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