He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She just used a chaser for red wine.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Randomize
