he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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