I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
