i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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