the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
