So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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