Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
