Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
