false alarm. still invincible.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
