this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize