which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
