Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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