I'm going to jail i love you
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
