I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
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